Defaulting To A Smile

To someone who doesn’t smile as often as he should, talking about this feels like pulling teeth. But I’ll do it anyway, because, hey, why not? Let’s delve into our topic for today — Defaulting to a smile!

I believe around every single one of us, there’s a moat that serves to protect our private space. When we smile, we are opening up that moat and in turn, providing a passageway for people to connect with us. When we are moody and finding it hard to smile, we close the moat, making it even more harder for people to engage in an interaction with us. 

Picture this! Think of some random person walking up to your desk for help whilst you are busy working. How are you gonna react? Let’s look at some possible scenarios.

Scenario1 : Stare at them with your work face, tell them you’re busy and scare them off. (or)

Scenario2 : Greet them with a smile, tell them you’re busy and let them know when you’ll be free (or)

Scenario3 : Pretend like you didn’t notice them and just continue working.

What would your first reaction be? Or let me put it this way. If you were that person asking for help, how would you like to be treated? I’m sure you’d want to be in the second scenario right? Because not only are you being greeted with a smile which comes off as a positive acknowledgement, but also the person wants to help you, but is unable to at the present moment and is willing to entertain you later.   

If the second scenario looks so simple why is it hard for people including myself to execute this on a consistent basis? The reasons could vary from person to person, but the best practice is to not think too much and just default to greeting people with a smile. For when you get into the habit of doing things with a smile, you instantly have an approachable personality and people will feel comfortable around you.

A decade back, I had to go see my bestie’s grandma. She was in her deathbed with Alzheimer’s and didn’t have the slightest clue of who I’m. I was feeling sad to see her in that state because I knew her for so long and shared many good memories with her. 

“I feel very sorry for your condition. I really do. I wish you get past this…” I said to grandma. There was no response from her. I tried to talk to her again, but she just kept looking at me and didn’t react. At this point I thought it was best to walk away, come on she does not recognize me anyway right? However, I wanted to give it one last try, but this time round I shared an inside joke and smiled at her. Guess what? She holds my hand and smiles back at me. Two days later, I get the news she’s dead.   

A smile is more powerful than we think and since we are dealing with human beings and not robots here, opening up our moat is imperative to make a connection with the living and at times, even the dying. However, if the intention is to avoid certain people from connecting with you, lack of smile does wonders to shield you from them.

There ain’t no face that’s more beautiful than the one that smiles. And since beauty has always had the power to stop us in our tracks and garner our instant attention, it’s no wonder we find a smiling face very alluring. Conversely, a moody face can be very disengaging. On certain days I go around walking with my moody face and talk to the bubbliest of people, and later wonder why they aren’t being bubbly to me. Little do I realize that if I don’t smile at people when I talk, I can’t expect them to smile back at me. Smile is infectious but the reverse also holds true. No smile on our face means no smile on the faces of others too. If we really want the society around us to be happy, it has to show on our face first. Strolling around with a moody face expecting others to rub off their happy face ain’t gonna happen on most days. Moodiness usually breeds moodiness. 

A smile on our face is not going to fix everything or bring the dead to life, but at least it’ll keep us from becoming the living dead. In a world that’s becoming increasingly isolated with rising online interactions and declining offline connections, a smile, at times is all we got, to say we’re doing just fine. Let not the drama unfolding in our lives at any given point hold us back from smiling. For the more we smile, the more we put ourselves at ease and those around us. For what it’s worth, let’s smile and make others smile.